{"id":588,"date":"2023-02-15T17:15:35","date_gmt":"2023-02-15T16:15:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.elecyt.org\/blog\/?p=588"},"modified":"2023-02-21T17:51:42","modified_gmt":"2023-02-21T16:51:42","slug":"comment-resoudre-pacifiquement-un-conflit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.elecyt.org\/blog\/2023\/02\/15\/comment-resoudre-pacifiquement-un-conflit\/","title":{"rendered":"Comment r\u00e9soudre pacifiquement un conflit ?"},"content":{"rendered":"
Si les conflits sont in\u00e9vitables, les surmonter sans faire de perdant est possible<\/strong><\/h5>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

La sagesse populaire croit que la sant\u00e9 d\u2019une institution, qu\u2019il s\u2019agisse d\u2019une entreprise, d\u2019un couple ou d\u2019une famille, est inversement proportionnelle au nombre de conflits qui l\u2019agitent. Pour John Gottman, expert en th\u00e9rapies conjugales, c\u2019est plut\u00f4t la proportion \u00e9lev\u00e9e de conflits r\u00e9solus<\/strong> qui est signe de bonne sant\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Prenons l\u2019exemple de notre club Toastmasters. Derni\u00e8rement, la question de scinder ou non le club a divis\u00e9 le bureau. Une partie consid\u00e9rait le club trop grand pour conserver son atmosph\u00e8re conviviale, tandis que l\u2019autre estimait que la taille lui permettait d\u2019attirer davantage de nouveaux membres.<\/p>\n

Comment r\u00e9soudre un tel conflit sans que l\u2019une des parties n\u2019ait le sentiment de perdre la bataille\u00a0? Le psychologue Thomas Gordon, dont nous avons parl\u00e9 dans un billet pr\u00e9c\u00e9dent<\/a> a mis au point une m\u00e9thode, la gestion des conflits \u201cTous gagnants\u201d.<\/p>\n

CHERCHER D\u2019ABORD A ANTICIPER LE CONFLIT<\/strong><\/h6>\n

Supposez qu’au bureau, vous \u00eates la responsable de Julien. Celui-ci rencontre un probl\u00e8me qui va affecter sa performance et, par ricochet, la v\u00f4tre. Si Julien r\u00e9sout son probl\u00e8me avant qu\u2019il ne devienne le v\u00f4tre, vous \u00e9viterez le conflit. Pour cela, l\u2019\u00e9coute r\u00e9flective, une des comp\u00e9tences de l\u2019entretien motivationnel<\/a>, peut aider Julien \u00e0 r\u00e9soudre son probl\u00e8me en le motivant \u00e0 changer son comportement.<\/p>\n

De m\u00eame, le Message-Je<\/a> aide \u00e0 d\u00e9samorcer un conflit. En exprimant votre besoin \u00e0 la premi\u00e8re personne, vous pr\u00e9emptez le comportement de l\u2019autre partie. Par exemple, \u201cj\u2019ai besoin de calme aujourd\u2019hui pour \u00e9crire mon discours\u201d incitera (peut-\u00eatre) votre fils \u00e0 jouer moins bruyamment ce matin dans le couloir.<\/p>\n

D\u00c9PASSER LES M\u00c9THODES TRADITIONNELLES<\/strong><\/h6>\n

Malheureusement, il faut parfois affronter l\u2019obstacle. Etablir un rapport de forces est la technique utilis\u00e9e habituellement dans ses deux variantes\u00a0: l\u2019autoritaire (\u201cJe gagne\u201d\/\u201cVous perdez\u201d) ou laxiste (\u201cJe perds\u201d\/\u201cVous gagnez\u201d). L\u2019une comme l\u2019autre provoque frustration et ressentiment chez le perdant.<\/p>\n

Pour sortir d\u2019un conflit \u201cpar le haut\u201d en satisfaisant les deux parties, Gordon propose donc l\u2019approche \u201cTous gagnants\u201d. Elle comporte six \u00e9tapes.<\/p>\n

Tout d\u2019abord, probl\u00e9matiser le conflit<\/strong>. Il s\u2019agit ici de comprendre le point de vue de l\u2019autre, ses pr\u00e9occupations et ses besoins sous-jacents. L\u00e0 encore, l\u2019\u00e9coute r\u00e9flective approfondit le probl\u00e8me, tandis que le Message-Je exprime ce probl\u00e8me de votre point de vue sans accuser l\u2019autre, mais sans non plus minorer votre ressenti.<\/p>\n

Ensuite, g\u00e9n\u00e9rer les solutions possibles<\/strong>. C\u2019est la phase cr\u00e9ative de la m\u00e9thode. La quantit\u00e9 pr\u00e9vaut sur la qualit\u00e9. \u00c9valuation, critique et jugement sont provisoirement suspendus. Il est pr\u00e9f\u00e9rable de commencer par les id\u00e9es de l\u2019autre partie et les approfondir gr\u00e2ce \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9coute r\u00e9flective.<\/p>\n

Par la suite, \u00e9valuer les options<\/strong>. Pour cela, les questions ouvertes ont toute leur place\u00a0: quels sont les avantages et les inconv\u00e9nients de cette solution\u00a0? Pourquoi pourrait-elle ne pas marcher\u00a0? Les reflets permettent d\u2019approfondir le point de vue de l\u2019autre.<\/p>\n

Puis d\u00e9cider<\/strong>. La cl\u00e9 est que la d\u00e9cision vienne de l\u2019autre sans qu\u2019on ait \u00e0 le persuader ou \u00e0 le pousser vers une solution.<\/p>\n

Enfin vient le temps de mettre en \u0153uvre <\/strong>la d\u00e9cision. Il est toujours pr\u00e9f\u00e9rable de parier sur la confiance plut\u00f4t que sur les ch\u00e2timents en cas de non-respect de la d\u00e9cision. Si autrui n\u2019honore pas l\u2019accord, un message-Je est bienvenu pour le rappeler.<\/p>\n

Finalement, suivre <\/strong>la mise en \u0153uvre de la d\u00e9cision et \u00e9valuer<\/strong> son r\u00e9sultat. A ce titre, il faut toujours rester souple et garder la porte ouverte pour une reprise de la discussion.<\/p>\n

LES B\u00c9N\u00c9FICES D\u2019UNE TELLE APPROCHE<\/strong><\/h6>\n

Cette m\u00e9thode permet de prendre des d\u00e9cisions de meilleure qualit\u00e9 car elles sont construites simultan\u00e9ment par les deux parties en conflit. Les solutions sont adapt\u00e9es aux besoins et non pas toutes faites. Interagir avec l\u2019autre motive chaque partie \u00e0 trouver la meilleure solution.<\/p>\n

D\u00e9cider devient aussi plus rapide. Enfin, l\u2019approche \u201cTous gagnants\u201d pr\u00e9serve les bonnes relations avec l\u2019autre partie.<\/p>\n

POUR ALLER PLUS LOIN<\/strong><\/h6>\n

L\u2019approche de r\u00e9solution des conflits de Thomas Gordon constitue donc un progr\u00e8s par rapport aux m\u00e9thodes traditionnelles bas\u00e9es sur le rapport de force.<\/p>\n

Dans un prochain billet, nous \u00e9tudierons un cas pratique illustrant cette m\u00e9thode.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Si les conflits sont in\u00e9vitables, les surmonter sans faire de perdant est possible La sagesse populaire croit que la sant\u00e9 d\u2019une institution, qu\u2019il s\u2019agisse d\u2019une entreprise, d\u2019un couple ou d\u2019une famille, est inversement proportionnelle au nombre de conflits qui l\u2019agitent. Pour John Gottman, expert en th\u00e9rapies conjugales, c\u2019est plut\u00f4t la proportion \u00e9lev\u00e9e de conflits r\u00e9solus […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-toastmasters"],"yoast_head":"\nComment r\u00e9soudre pacifiquement un conflit ? - Fa\u00e7ons de parler<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.elecyt.org\/blog\/2023\/02\/15\/comment-resoudre-pacifiquement-un-conflit\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Comment r\u00e9soudre pacifiquement un conflit ? - Fa\u00e7ons de parler\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Si les conflits sont in\u00e9vitables, les surmonter sans faire de perdant est possible La sagesse populaire croit que la sant\u00e9 d\u2019une institution, qu\u2019il s\u2019agisse d\u2019une entreprise, d\u2019un couple ou d\u2019une famille, est inversement proportionnelle au nombre de conflits qui l\u2019agitent. 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